"Dont be afraid if some people will no longer be your friends. Because you deserve better friends. Because if a friend is not happy when you are blessed, he isn't a real friend. You need to change your friends." -Bo Sanchez
I don't have a lot of friends. And I'm not ashamed of it. I admit I have a loner side in me. I don't go out a lot, I'm the kind of person who rather spend time at home doing things I love to do, spending time with my dogs, tidying up around the house, watching movies or catching up with the television, sleeping, working out or just doing random stuff at home. For me, its not tiring and even more practical with both time and money. But sure I do also have few people I give time meeting up too. I also enjoy a good quality time with my mates who I have known since young age, may it be from way back high school or people from college and also people from previous work too. I like to spend time with people I have treasured for years.
Being alone give me a feeling of control. I like that I don't have to try hard to please anyone, or try to fit in. I like that I don't have to try hard for anyone to like me. I am also the kind of person who choose people to be friends with, which is really not a good thing. I guess, I'm being careful of who I open myself into. But I guess, I am not that careful enough.
We all have friends, but sometimes, we are not sure if the friends we have truly like us for who we are or if they really value us. It is important that before giving a part of ourself to anyone, we have to know who we really are, do things based on our values and principles and not do things just for the sake of being "friendly" and change our ways based on the influence of our so called friends. Friends are important. Friends are people who you share your interest with, without being judged. You laugh with them during silly moments, cry with them during gloomy days, and you can do both at the same time when things are twisted and you just don't care if it looks crazy because you can be crazy together just like that. You are completely different persons but they are the people who understand that in spite or your differences, there is respect and still sincerely like you for who you are. The thing is, what if the friends you have, doesn't really know you? After all the time you have known each other, they really doesn't know who you are. For reasons that all this time, they are focused on who they are and you are just part of their whole being. You have invested so much emotions, it feels like you just gone bankrupt.
But what if we are wrong, what if our friends feel the same way too? What if, they are hurt, of things we are completely unaware of. Maybe they are going through something that is out of our awareness. They also need a fair share of consideration that they might be in a difficult situation. That's the thing, Friends are supposed to be even in a little way, your source of strength in times when you are in trouble. But now what is happening is, when you are in trouble or when you are in a down state, you don't tell your friends that, because you don't want your friends to think you are miserable. You are ashamed. Because in the first place, you befriended people not to be a friend but for the satisfaction of having a "friend", which is a common misconception of what it really means.
It is saddening that during these days, it is very difficult to find that person or people who you can really call a friend. It actually sound overrated to use the term "friend" already. Because we don't know anymore what it truly mean. The world is full of deceit, people call you friend without really meaning it. People show you they like you even tell you they love you only in reality they don't.
I don't like the common notion of having true and fake friends. I believe that all of us are guilty of being fake to people we don't like and we are only true to the ones we like. There is no exception to that. But why do we have to be fake when we can avoid the ones we don't like and just stay true to the people we are sure we can be really friends with. They say, that is because you can't tell the difference anymore.
And just like so many things going on, it is more saddening to hear the common reasoning...."because it's just the way it is". When actually we can really do something about this. I am not an expert on things,rather a professional of some sort, just like a lot of people of these twisted world, I just find time to reflect and think about why things are going like they aren't supposed to be. I think we should start with ourself, how can we be a friend to other people when we are not a friend to our own self. Just like any other things going on in the world today, we can correct this, we don't have to be perfect, but it all starts from you.
Just my two cents.