Monday, November 1, 2010

A very depressed Aisha

I stayed in bed all day today. I was supposed to go to school but I am so lazy to wake up in the morning so I totally ditch the idea of going to school and stayed in bed just for the whole AM but I was really feeling down and depressed, I feel like I'm going to be sick or something, or I am just making a reason to not get out of the bed, so I didn't get out of the bed. And here I am, end up blogging, feeling like a loser. It's just depressing when you are feeling down and you know that you can't do the only thing that will ease the depression or at least make you feel a little better. And yes, I am talking about shopping. For the record, as of this moment I am broke. And you know what's worse? My credit card is cancelled. ANd yes, this is humiliating I know and that's why I am blogging about it because I feel awful and I'm not really in the mood for a girlfriend conversation like it will make any difference. I actually stop talking with a girlfriend for a week now. Not that I have a friend in this country like I used to have "friends" back home. I just feel that in this place where I am right now, there's no such good friend anymore. Like it is really impossible to catch a true friend in this point of time. Does not exist. And I think I have to reformat myself on how i deal with these kind of things in a very casual and mature way. I know I am not perfect nobody does. And in a matter of friendship and love, I am the type of person who can be easily befriended (except that I choose, which I know that is not a really good thing), I easily trust people (which I realised that I shouldn't). I just don't want to give myself too much in friendship and I don't want to give all my trust because trust is something, its a big thing like virginity. You just don't give it to anyone. Coz if you do and worse comes to worse, it will make you a bitch. True enough.

And I swear that I am going to buy these things once I gain enough moolah to do so. Coz when I am feeling awful, I treat myself and the feeling just go away...sometimes.

I am looking for an animal duvet cover for quite sometime and I saw these. On my list.

A fringed bag. I just want one ever since but I can't find a perfect one and when I saw this online, I really wanna buy it, I just don't have the money. Sad. But once I regained all the energy in my bank account, this is one of those things that I will buy immediately.
I don't know why skulls are soo cool. But I am one of those girls who easily get attracted to skulls. I think they're cool and so is this ring, they also have this in gold but I like silver more.
And this boots same as the fringed bag totally got me. If I only have the money now, I won't have second thoughts on spending some with these pair.
And YSL's Parisienne perfume is also on my want to buy list together with Coco Chanel's Madmoiselle. I just fell in love with the scent. I am not really into much perfume like my sister who collects them. I just like smelling expensive. Haha.

I actually feel a little better now. I am broke. I can't shop. I have no one to talk to. And I blog about almost everything and I feel a little better. Maybe I should do this more often, rather than sulking myself in my bed with my 2 bestfriends at the moment I called Loneliness and Depression. Well I read about it in Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love where she mentioned about the dynamic duo on the chapter I am currently on. So maybe I'll continue on reading the book and I'll blog some more next time. And maybe I should come up with a better idea about the blog's header, and domain's so teeny bopper. Eww. I'll come up with a more mature idea when I have all the positive energy back.

No comments:

Post a Comment