Monday, June 7, 2010

The Fat Truth

I've been thinking what to post for the past few days. I've been wanting to write, I have a lot of ideas in mind but I just cant gather all my thoughts and put it in one sensible entry. So anyway, i just like to share how a Fat truth changed my sunny day into a cloudy one. I went to school today in London and I saw a very close friend. The first time she saw me, she was like..."OH MY GOD AISHA YOU ARE SO FAT, WHAT HAPPENED?" She went on and on with how I look, like I put too much weight and I look like so bloated. She repeated it for like 10x...all throughout our conversation, she keeps on saying that Im fat. I am very very very affected with the comment, I know Im putting on much weight lately, I can see it and feel it. Im not denying it. This is my body. And she doesn't have to rub it in my face like that. We haven't seen each other since January. God knows how excited I am to see her but the way she reacted the first time she saw me, it made me feel uncomfortable around her. Its like Im talking to a different person, someone who Im not really close with. Truth hurts, I know. And the truth is, Im Fat. Like my friend told me today. But like I also said, she doesn't have to rub it in my face and with a lot of people hearing it? Im honestly offended. It really slap my self esteem. But you know what? In a way, I thank her, because of her offending but true comment, I really wanna take dieting seriously. I wanna do whatever it takes to be skinny again like I used to. I have nothing against plus sized people. I didn't mean to offend anyone with this post. Its not bad to be fat or plus sized, its just that this is not the person who I am. Im not like this before. This is not who i used to be. Im usually skinny. not anorexic skinny just the exact type of skinny not to be characterised as anorexic. I'm trying to take the comment in a positive way, like maybe God wanted me to watch my weight and start being conscious again with what I eat so He used my friend as an instrument to make me realise the Fat Truth. Coz I read somewhere that we will only realise and do something about a certain thing if we learn it in a hard way. We really have to be knocked off our feet, fall down, or break into pieces before we stand up, step up and rise again.

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